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SERMON MANUSCRIPT
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Sermon Manuscript
[Read Colossians 3:18-4:1]
Some of you know Rachel and I’s story, but I’m not sure how much I’ve talked about it since coming to Faith Community Church. We got married very young. I was twenty and Rachel was eighteen. We had no money. We had a small trailer house. We had one young daughter. We had no idea what we were doing. The first couple years of our marriage were not bad, but they were fairly rough. I kinda dove into marriage thinking I knew what it was about and what I needed to do as a husband and a father. That statement right there shows you how little I knew…lol. I had no clue.
As I think back on some of the rough patches of those first few years—and some of the moments I’m still ashamed of—it was the result of being focused on myself. Prior to marriage, all you have to think about is yourself—what you want, when you want it. You’re so used to being able to focus on yourself that you instinctively keep doing that even when you know you have other responsibilities. But marriage doesn’t work that way. Last week I talked about how the heart of love is laying down your life—or getting over yourself. Marriage is the perfect situation to learn how to do that—to learn that you are not the center of the universe, and you can no longer focus on yourself, but need to learn how to lay down your life for your spouse and your children.
Now, this morning’s passage has a lot of content in it, but as I typically do, I want to make sure we understand how all of this connects to the broader message of Colossians, and how it all fits together in a few principles. Because unless you understand the bigger picture, you can’t fully understand the smaller details.
Right away, I want to make sure we realize that this passage is flowing directly from the last verse of last week’s passage. That’s also why I included it in this week’s reading again. Last week’s passage ended saying, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17, ESV). It’s this broad command to all believers that since we’ve been united to Jesus Christ by faith, we need to remember that now we’re representatives of Jesus Christ wherever we go and in whatever we say. Last week that was summarizing the way people were to conduct themselves in the Christian community. Yet, Paul is also setting up this week’s passage. He’s working out this reality in all of the various details of the household—which back then contained husbands, wives, children, fathers, servants, and masters. He’s basically telling each of these groups what it looks like to represent Jesus in each of these roles on a very practical level.
One of the ways we see that is through a few phrases throughout this morning’s passage. Phrases like, “…in the Lord…pleases the Lord…fearing the Lord…for the Lord…from the Lord…” (Colossians 3:18,20, 22, 23, 24 ESV). Basically, every single command and instruction in this passage is qualified by some phrase connecting it to the Lord Jesus Christ. All of our words and actions are “in the Lord” because we’re in the Lord and are not representing Jesus in everything we say and do—and that applies to our marriages, families, and workplaces.
Ultimately, near the end of the passage he says it very clearly: “You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:24, ESV). Now, that statement is specifically directed at servants. However, I believe this is the point Paul is making throughout the entire passage for each and every one of these roles. Wives, be aware that you are not serving your husbands, ultimately you are serving Jesus Christ. Husbands, be reminded that you are not serving your wives, but ultimately you are serving Jesus Christ. Children, be aware that you are not serving your parents but ultimately Jesus Christ. All across the board, Paul is reminding believers that Jesus Christ is the one they serve and the one whom they represent in every aspect of their lives.
The question is: How should that affect the way we serve in these various roles? Before diving into the specifics, I want to continue looking at the broader picture because Paul gives us a broader understanding of how this affects our day to day life. He says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” (Colossians 3:23, ESV). Again, this is specifically addressing the servants, but I think it’s really addressing everyone, especially since it connects so clearly to verse 17. Let me show you by taking out some of the middle verses: “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus…Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” (Colossians 3:17,23 ESV). See how universal that command is? How close it is to verse 17? I think it serves as a solid underlying principle that Paul is trying to make in this passage. He’s making the point that since we’re not serving men, but serving Jesus Christ, that means we’re going to do it heartily. We’re going to heartily be a wife, husband, child, father, servant, master.
So, what does that mean? What does it mean to do something heartily? The original Greek has this worded in an interesting way. It says that we are to “work from our soul.” There’s a lot to say on this. In some sense, to work from the soul and to work heartily means that we are going to work hard for Jesus Christ. We’re not going to do it in a half-hearted manner, only doing the basic requirements, but going full out for Jesus. So, there’s this sense in which because we’re serving Jesus Christ, and because we love and trust him and have given him our lives, we’re going to love and serve with everything we’ve got—with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Yet, I think there’s something else here that’s really important and connects with last week’s sermon. One of the points I made in last week’s sermon is that the Christian life is not about the externals, but ultimately about heart transformation that results in changed external actions. That’s also what Paul is talking about here. If you go to the verse prior to this you read, “…not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart…” (Colossians 3:22, ESV). So, in some ways, to work heartily means to work from the heart. That as we serve our spouse, we’re not just going through the motions—doing things because we’re supposed to do them—but we’re doing it from the heart. When we’re interacting with our parent’s, we’re not just going through the motions but doing it from the heart. We’re not doing these things because we want to look like we care, but because we actually care. We’re not doing these things because we want to look like we’re obedient, but because we’re actually obedient.
That leads us into the nitty gritty breakdown that Paul provides us with. This portion is often called a household code. These were really common back in the ancient world. They liked to create order in the household by outlining the duties of the various members of the household. Also, remember what I said earlier, that the household was bigger than just the parents and the children. In the ancient world, in many ways, the household was the family business, which included everyone who worked for the family business—including servants. So, the household could be fairly large, which required everyone to know their roles and responsibilities to help things function smoothly. Many have noted that what Paul is doing here is taking the standard household code of his day and making it Christian, infusing everything with Jesus Christ at the center of everything we say and do in our homes.
He begins by Christianizing the marriage relationship. He says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:18–19, ESV). As a side note, I kinda laughed this week as I prepared my sermon because the very first sermon series I preached in this church was through the book of Ephesians, which had me preaching on this topic in the first few weeks of starting as pastor. Now, I’m preaching on it again in the last weeks of being pastor here. God has a sense of humor.
Obviously, parts of this passage are not very popular today—and it’s not the part that tells husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them. It’s the part that tells wives to submit to their husbands. Not only is this not popular today, but some women have a visceral reaction to this. I’ve been in churches where I’ve watched people stand up and walk out of the church simply because the pastor read this passage—not even sticking around long enough to hear what he had to say about it.
And because it’s such an unpopular topic, whenever someone preaches on it—including myself—we often feel like we have to surround it with a bunch of nuance and caveats. I don’t want to do that this morning. It’s pretty clear. Wives, one of the ways that you serve Jesus Christ in your marriage is to submit to your husband. And to connect that to everything I’ve said so far in this sermon, that also means that you are to heartily submit to your husbands—not gritting your teeth, not doing it externally while internally hating every minute of it, not grumbling and complaining. Submit heartily to your husbands because this is how you serve Jesus Christ in your marriage.
Now, Paul does give his own caveat in this. He says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18, ESV). Ultimately, this means that you are submitting to Christ first and foremost, above all things, including your husband. So, that means you must never submit to your husband in anything that would dishonor Jesus Christ or in anything that would cause you to no longer be able to represent Jesus Christ well in what you say and do.
For husbands, the way they serve Christ in their marriages is: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19, ESV). I’ve heard some people groan when saying this. Basically saying, “Ohhhh. That’s hard. Love your wife and be nice to her. Why do the guys get the easy part when the wives get the hard part.” That’s absolutely not true and shows a lack of understanding of what the Bible talks about as love. Remember what we talked about last week? “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us… (1 John 3:16, ESV). This is how husbands are called to serve Jesus Christ in their marriages—to lovingly lay down their lives for their spouse. And, husbands, you are to do that heartily—not grumbling under your breath, not gritting your teeth, not playing the victim—but laying down your life with joy and passion for your wife.
A few weeks ago, I attended my cousin’s wedding and we were asked to give them our number one piece of marriage advice. You may be able to guess what I wrote down: Get over yourself (Phil 2:3). That’s basically what Paul is telling husbands and wives to do in their marriages. Get over yourself in your own unique way. This is no longer about you. And as you get over yourself, you don’t get to play the victim, and you don’t get to play the martyr, and you don’t get to whine and complain and be grumpy about it. Joyfully get over yourself and submit and love.
Then Paul moves on from marriages and talks about family dynamics. He says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:20–21, ESV). Paul doesn’t beat around the bush here, does he? When should you obey your parents? In everything. Ok, so sometimes? No. In everything. Just in case you weren’t paying attention, children, he said “in everything.” You might say, “Well, that’s hard!” Join the club. It’s hard for wives to submit, it’s hard for husbands to lay down their lives, and it’s hard for children to obey in everything. But Paul says to obey in everything.
Why should you obey your parents in everything? He tells you: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20, ESV). It pleases Jesus Christ when children obey their parents. That’s why. It actually tells you that you are to be way more concerned about pleasing Jesus Christ than your parents, which is why you obey your parents in everything. It also means that if your parents were to ever tell you to do something that would not please Jesus, then you must not obey them in that thing. That’s the caveat in this. You must always seek to please Jesus over all things, and that means obeying your parents in all things that please Jesus.
When talking about obeying your parents, I typically like to bring up this verse from Hebrews. It’s talking about church leaders, but it applies very well to our parents: “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” (Hebrews 13:17, ESV). He’s basically telling them that it’s never a good idea to make your parents dislike parenting you. It’s actually better for you in the long run to make your parents live easy—to make it so that they enjoy parenting you. So, obey them in everything and please the Lord.
Fathers, you need to make sure you don’t provoke and discourage your children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21, ESV). We typically use the word “provoke” in a different sense, almost like picking on someone, trying to annoy them or pick a fight with them—like you’re provoking a fight. It’s a little different here. The word can mean something more like resentful and embittered. I get the image of someone who is being kind of beat down and discouraged—someone who is constantly feeling attacked and yelled at. That’s not how we are to parent our children.
Really, the goal of parenting fits in line with what this passage is about. We don’t want our children to simply obey. We want our children to heartily obey. We don’t want them to do what we told them to do, hating it the entire time. Rather, we want them to learn how to love doing what we want them to do. When parents find themselves in a position where they are making their children resentful and embittered, it’s likely because they are no longer seeking to help their children love the command, but simply obey the command. Yes, children are commanded in this passage to heartily obey their parents—to joyful obedience—but parents are also commanded to work toward joyful obedience in their children.
I realize I haven’t left a lot of time to deal with another fairly controversial passage in the bible—the topic of slavery. Some people have looked to passages like this to try to justify various forms of slavery or to say that Paul encouraged slavery. That’s just not true. In reality, Paul says something very counter-cultural in this passage. He actually tells slaves that they are not serving their masters—that their masters are not their ultimate authority—but Jesus Christ is not their master. Then, he reminds the masters that they are servants to a greater Master, Jesus Christ, and that they need to act accordingly.
He says, “Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ…Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.” (Colossians 3:22–4:1, ESV). Of course, many people would have loved for Paul to simply tell everyone to do away with slavery because it wasn’t compatible with the Christian faith. However, many have pointed out that what Paul does in this passage was to completely undermine the reality of slavery, changing the dynamic between master and slave. He paints a picture where you have servants lovingly, joyfully serving and working for their masters and where masters are lovingly, joyfully caring for their servants fairly and justly. You can see how this would eventually lead to the point where slavery was completely done away with.
So, Paul has already given us reason to live and act these ways—doing it from the heart. He’s told us that we do this because we realize that we’re serving someone higher than the people in front of us—we’re serving Jesus Christ. However, he gives us one other reason in two forms. He reminds everyone that there’s a reward waiting for them. It could be a negative reward or a positive reward.
The negative reward is set before them when he says, “For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.” (Colossians 3:25, ESV). The wrong doer will receive a reward for their wrongdoing, but it won’t be a good reward. They will reap what they sow. And Paul makes sure that nobody thinks they’re getting out of it because God shows no partiality. That means that the rich are not going to buy their way out of this, but it also means that the poor aren’t off the hook either. God shows no partiality to the rich or the poor. It also means that you don’t get out of this because you’re a man or a woman. God shows no partiality. If you’re living and speaking in ways that are contrary to Jesus Christ—you will receive the negative reward.
However, he also lays out the positive reward, saying, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” (Colossians 3:23–24, ESV). There are a variety of reasons why we live and act heartily for the Lord in this life. We live and act heartily because Jesus Christ has taken our sins and cast them as far as the east is from the west and made them as white as snow. So, because we’re so grateful and thankful, we heartily serve him in everything we do.
However, Paul also lays out this reason—there’s an inheritance waiting for us as a reward. That’s part of our motivation in everything we do. To put this in the setting of the workplace, you’re not actually working at your job for the immediate paycheck you receive. Rather, you need to be working in your job as if you’re serving Jesus Christ, who will reward you with a rich inheritance in heaven. See how that changes everything? This also applies back to everything else we said previously. Why do you submit to your husband even when it’s extremely difficult? Because you’re serving Jesus Christ, who will reward you with a rich inheritance in heaven. Why do you lay down your life for your wife, when it hurts? Because you’re serving Jesus Christ, who will reward you with a rich inheritance in heaven. Why do you obey your parents even when it’s hard? Because you’re serving Jesus Christ, who will reward you with a rich inheritance in heaven.
This is actually the motivation for everything we do. Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything heartily as if you were serving Jesus Christ, knowing that he has a reward and inheritance waiting for you in heaven.