[Read Genesis 38:1-30]
If there’s one theme that you’ll hear regularly in my sermons, it’s the importance of complete obedience to God. I’m known for saying, “Go where God tells you to go, Do what God tells you to do, Say what God tells you to say.” This is definitely something we see throughout scripture. We all know that story of Jonah and how things work out when we try to do our own thing and decide we’re not going to go where God tells us to go. Not good. It dishonors God and makes a mess out of things in our life.
However, I’ve noticed over the years that this can cause some problems in some people’s lives. They finally get to the point where they want to give their life to God, they want to follow him wherever he leads, but they’re afraid that they’re gonna mess it up. Sometimes people are paralyzed that they don’t KNOW where God wants them to go, or wants them to do or say. They’re afraid that they’re going to make the wrong decision and mess up God’s plan for their life. To quote a meme that’s been going around on social media for a while: “You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful.” You’re not powerful enough to mess up God’s plan for your life.
Yet, that understanding can also be completely misunderstood and cause problems in someone’s life. I’ve watched people grab hold of this and basically say, “Well, if I can’t mess up God’s plan, then I guess I can do whatever I want” or they say “Well, if I can’t mess up God’s plan, then I won’t do anything. God will take care of it.” And often, people try to make themselves sound very spiritually mature when they say these things and say things like, “I just trust God so much, that I’m not going to do anything about this” or “I just trust God so much that he’s going to use my stupid decisions for his purposes. So, I don’t have to worry about it.” When I hear people say those things, I want to quote a famous line from a movie: When you use the word “trust” I do not think it means what you think it means.
As we look at our passage today, we’re going to learn some very important lessons. On the one hand we’re going to see that God will punish wickedness and rebellion. So, we’re not free to do these things “trusting” that God will still carry out his plan. That’s foolishness. We’re also going to see God punish refusal to take action as a result of fear—even if it’s couched with the word “trust.” That’s also foolishness. Yet, we will also see that God still works even through some massive failures and poor decisions that have resulted in terrible situations. We’re going to see that despite the failures of his people, they still haven’t been able to mess up God’s plan. And actually, God is powerful enough to discipline them for their rebellion AND carry out his perfect plan at the same time.
As we dive into this story, it’s important to recognize that we’re going back in history a little bit from last week. Last week, we covered a massive chunk of Judah’s life because I wanted us to see the overarching trajectory. This week, we’re flashing back a bit to understand a little more what led to that trajectory. Remember, last week I made a comment that it was THROUGH the trials and difficulties of Judah’s life that God transformed him and prepared him to be the leader of God’s people. Yet, it’s important to recognize that those trials were not randomly given to Judah. Nope. These trials came as a direct result of Judah’s rebellion against God and his family. As Moses writes the story of Judah, he doesn’t pull any punches. He tells us all of the nitty-gritty details of his life—details that make some of us very uncomfortable. He shines a light on all of the skeletons in Judah’s closet. There’s a reason for that—but I’m not going to tell you until the end.
Last week we saw that the first words out of Judah’s mouth were the proposal to sell Joseph into slavery. The very next thing we hear Judah doing, is rebelling against his family—and his God. We read, “It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua.” (Genesis 38:1–2, ESV). So, Judah makes some money from the sale of his brother, then leaves his family, heads to Canaan, and marries a Canaanite woman—the very thing that his forefathers had continually said to never do. God’s people were to stay away from the Canaanites, and especially were told NOT to marry the women of Canaan. Yet, Judah doesn’t care about what his forefathers have said, and he doesn’t care what God has said, he’s gonna do what he wants to do. This never bodes well. Rather than saying, “I’m gonna go where God tells me to go, do what God tells me to do, say what God tells me to say,” he says “I’m gonna do what I want to do, go where I want to go, say what I want to say.”
And it seems to work out for him at first. We read, “He took her and went in to her, and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er. She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. Yet again she bore a son, and she called his name Shelah. Judah was in Chezib when she bore him.” (Genesis 38:2–5, ESV). Almost sounds like the way God blessed Leah, right? One son after another after another. I’m sure Judah was thinking, “I knew I knew what’s best for me!”
Yet things turn sideways very quickly, don’t they? He picks a wife for his oldest son, most likely also a Canaanite woman. Her name is Tamar. Yet, we find out quickly that Judah has not done a good job raising his sons. Their lives are a complete disaster. We read, “But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD put him to death.” (Genesis 38:7, ESV). That’s drastic. Er was so wicked and evil that God put him to death. God punished his rebellion and wickedness. God didn’t look the other way. He punished it and punished it quickly. God put him to death so quickly that the Er never had a son with Tamar, and that causes a problem.
Eventually, we read this provision in the life of Israel, “If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.” (Deuteronomy 25:5–6, ESV). This is a really big deal. There’s a lot here that we can’t get into this morning, but recognize the importance given to this. This was to be done so that someone’s name would not be blotted out of Israel. This was about the future of God’s people. A LOT is on the line when a man dies before producing a son—more than we can even imagine today. So, the brother is supposed to serve his deceased brother by helping to continue his line amongst God’s people.
Yet, the second brother is just as messed up as Er. We read, “Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. And what he did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also.” (Genesis 38:8–10, ESV). You see, once Er died without a son, guess who is now considered the oldest son, worthy of the double inheritance? Onan. And guess who selfishly didn’t want that inheritance to get messed up in any way, shape, or form? So, in his greed and selfishness, Onan does what he should not do. He dishonors his deceased brother and completely takes advantage of Tamar for his own pleasure. So, God puts him to death for his wickedness.
Now, Shelah is next in line, but Judah doesn’t want to risk losing another son to this black widow. Judah is completely blind to the wickedness of his two sons and blames the entire situation on Tamar. He even refuses to take care of her—as he should have—and sends her back to her family. He knows he’s not going to care for her. He knows he’s not going to fulfill his responsibilities for Er. Yet he lies to Tamar, makes up a story about her needing to wait until Shelah is older, and sends her out of his house so that he’s out of sight and out of mind.
After a long time goes by, Judah’s wife dies. This causes another problem. One, how is Judah’s line going to continue on? His sons are dead—except for Shelah, and Judah refuses to have Shelah and Tamar get together. This line is here to remind us that the line of Judah is in significant peril. It may end. And in the midst of this Judah makes another poor decision. He heads off to Timnah and sleeps with a prostitute—or so he thought. Now, it seems like he wasn’t planning on sleeping with a prostitute, since he didn’t bring anything with to pay for the prostitute, but he does it anyway, which is bad enough. Not only that—and this isn’t talked about enough—he thinks she is a cult prostitute—a temple prostitute. That means, this act with the prostitute—at least in his mind—wasn’t just something sexual, it was idolatrous. It was connected with the worship of an idol. That’s really messed up.
Now, we know what Judah didn’t know. This isn’t a temple prostitute, this is his daughter-in-law Tamar. She had been at her parent’s place, noticing that Judah was never going to fulfill his duties. Another way to say that is, she knew that Judah wasn’t going to fulfill his covenant obligations to the family. So, she takes matters into her own hands. She heads to Timnah. She covers her face, dresses up like a prostitute, and entices Judah to sleep with her. Once the deed is done, we find out that she got pregnant. Then, she puts back on her widow’s clothing and head’s back to her parent’s house.
People find out that she’s pregnant. They tell Judah. Judah decides he’s going to apply the greatest penalty to this woman—get rid of this black widow once and for all—and commands that she be burned. Yet, in the process of them taking her off to be burned, she reveals Judah’s signet and staff, and shows Judah that HE is the one who got her pregnant. And then we hear Judah say these words that make many people cringe, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” (Genesis 38:26, ESV).
Now, this really bothers people. We want nice, clean stories that teach us what is good and bad and ugly. We don’t understand how the Bible can talk about Tamar as being righteous! Didn’t she lie, and deceive, and sleep with her father-in-law? Doesn’t sound like righteousness to me. Besides, we don’t want our kids to think they can do those things. So, what’s the deal?
There’s a lot here and it’s hard to make sure we balance everything properly. It’s important that we understand that the Bible doesn’t pretend like heroes or heroines are perfect. They’re not. And the Bible doesn’t reject a hero or heroine for their imperfection. It’s much more complicated than that. That means a few things. One, it means we don’t have to pretend like everything Tamar did was good and wholesome and wise. No. She made some poor decisions here. However, we also don’t get the option of saying she was unrighteous…Let me say that again so that we don’t miss it. We don’t get the option of saying she is unrighteous…because the Bible says she was righteous. So, how do we understand this?
First, it’s important to understand her loyalty to her in-laws in the midst of this. She was used and abused, taken advantage of and neglected by this family. She could have easily said, “I’m done with you,” and walked away, married a Canaanite man, and never looked back. But she didn’t. In fact, according to later Israelite law, she could have brought Judah and Onan to the city gate, exposed their neglect and disrespect, and spit in their face in front of the entire city. That’s actually part of the law—to shame these men for their lack of duty and respect to their family. Yet, she didn’t do any of that. She protected their dignity. She protected their name. She had made covenantal promises to this family and she was going to fulfill those promises. She was going to make sure that a son was born to this family AND she was going to risk her life to make it happen. It didn’t matter that they were not her people. She was committed to serving and being a part of this people—the family of God.
To think of this another way, this is the story of Ruth. I realize that may bother some of you, but it’s true. Tamar rejects her homeland, chooses to commit herself to being part of God’s people, and following their God, and makes sure that God’s people will continue by having a son. If it wasn’t for Tamar, God’s people would have perished, there would have been no David, and, ultimately, no Jesus. Bruce Waltke says, “God had promised Abraham and Jacob that they would have royal offspring from their own bodies. Of Jacob's twelve sons, Judah is singled out to carry on this royal lineage. Tamar, a wrong wife (i.e., Canaanite), saves the family by her loyalty to it. The four women in Matthew's genealogy of Jesus Christ (Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba) all come from outside of Israel and have a highly irregular and potentially scandalous marriage union. But because of their faith, God deems them worthy to carry royal seed.” (Waltke, 515-516). Tamar not only saved God’s people, but she saved the world. That’s what was on the line in that moment.
We also get a glimpse into Judah’s life and the transformation that is happening—the transformation that we talked about last week. The moment Judah see’s what is happening, he admits his faults, confesses them, and repents of them. That’s why we read this line: “Then Judah identified them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her again.” (Genesis 38:26, ESV). It’s from this point on, that we see Judah beginning to change and transform. Just like David, when confronted with his sin with Bathsheba, he immediately confesses that sin and repents of it—he turns away from it. This is actually the turning point in Judah’s life—the turning point that is preparing him to be the head of a line of kings and leaders over God’s people for the rest of eternity.
Here’s the wrong takeaway from this story: “I can do whatever I want to do—even some bad and wicked things—and God’s going to use it for good things.” Wrong. That’s the kind of attitude that gets people killed—kinda like Er and Onan. Rather, the takeaway from this story is: On the path of trying to follow God wherever he leads, seeking to go, do, and say whatever he tells you, you’re going to mess up. Sometimes you’re going to make some really dumb mistakes and decisions AND those decisions are going to cause problems and pain and dishonor God. But, don’t give up, don’t live in fear, don’t be paralyzed, because God is going to carry out his plan despite your unfaithfulness and stupidity.
Imagine reading this story while in exile in Babylon. God’s people had been so wicked and rebellious that God kicked them out of the Promised Land and had them hauled off to a foreign land. They had really messed up and were paying the price for it. They could read this story, see how badly Judah and Er and Onan messed up—and Tamar—but also see that God was at work in the midst of their unfaithfulness and failure. There was hope yet for them. Even though they had REALLY messed up, they still weren’t powerful enough to mess up God’s plan. They would also see an important lesson from Judah. What do you do when you realize you’ve really messed up, been unfaithful to God and rebelled against him? You repent. You confess your sin, and turn away from it. When you do that God draws near, and forgives and cleanses and sets your feet on the rock.
And none of that would be possible if Tamar hadn’t taken matters into her own hands and been more faithful than Judah. The NT traces the line directly from Tamar to Judah: “The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar…” (Matthew 1:1–3, ESV). Without Jesus, there is no salvation or forgiveness of sins. Without Jesus we would be left wallowing in our guilt and shame. But because of him, we can live with freedom and hope. Because of Jesus we can look to him in faith, confess our sins, turn from them, and be completely forgiven and set free.