How & Why We Pray

[Read Matthew 6:5-8]

Over the years, I’ve learned that there are two questions I can ask the vast majority of Christians and it will cause them to become immediately uncomfortable and feel a little guilty. The first one is, “How is your devotional life?” The second one is, “How is your prayer life?” Many people get uncomfortable when asked about their devotional life—because many Christians don’t have much of a devotional life—but almost every Christian I know gets uncomfortable when asked about their prayer life. The vast majority of Christians feel lacking in this area. 

Then, because we already feel guilty about our prayerlessness, we feel even more guilty when we read quotes like this, “Observe again that our Lord takes it for granted, that all who call themselves His disciples will pray. He assumes this also as a matter of course. He only gives directions as to the best way of praying. This is another lesson which deserves to be continually remembered. It teaches plainly that prayerless people are not genuine Christians. It is not enough to join in the prayers of the congregation on Sundays, or attend the prayers of a family on week-days. There must be private prayer also. Without this we may be outward members of Christ's church, but we are not living members of Christ.” (Ryle, 47). Even though it’s hard to hear, I think he is right. It is impossible to be a prayerless Christian. 

Yet, all of these bring us to the important question asked in the Heidelberg Catechism: Why do Christians need to pray? That’s a provocative question if you think about it. In particular, I’ve heard many Reformed Christians ask this question. They’ll say something like, “Since we know that God is sovereign and in control and that nothing happens apart from his will, what’s the point of praying?” There are a TON of different ways to answer that question—and we’ll get to many of those throughout this series. I particularly appreciate R.C. Sproul’s answer to this question. He simply said: Christians need to pray because God commanded them to pray. In reality, that should be enough for us. I also love the way the Catechism answers this question, “Because prayer is the most important part of the thankfulness God requires of us. And also because God gives his grace and Holy Spirit only to those who pray continually and groan inwardly, asking God for these gifts and thanking God for them.” (HC Q&A 116). For those who have put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ alone for their salvation, it is impossible for us not to feel thankful for that salvation and blessing from God. So, when we thank God for that salvation, what must we do? We must go to him in prayer and thank him. What do we do when we fall short? We must go to God and ask forgiveness and ask for grace and strength and guidance to live the life He’s called us to live. It’s a necessary part of living out our faith in Jesus Christ—a necessary part of our salvation. That’s why there can be no prayerless Christians. 

What is interesting is that when Jesus is teaching his disciples how to pray, he takes the opportunity to tell them that there are wrong ways to pray. In this passage, introducing the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus tells his disciples two times “Do not pray like this…” That’s important for us to remember and recognize. Prayer isn’t just something that we do and we can do however we want to do it. Jesus tells us not to pray in certain ways and to pray in certain ways. 

One of the ways he tells us not to pray is like non-believers. It would seem like that should be common sense, but it isn’t. Jesus says, “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.” (Matthew 6:7, ESV). In this case, when Jesus is talking about the Gentiles, he’s talking about those who are not part of the family of God. Today, we would simply call them non-believers. So, Jesus tells his disciples that when they pray, they are not to pray like non-believers who heap up empty phrases and talk and talk and talk and talk, thinking they will be heard because they keep on talking. Jesus says, Don’t pray like that. 

The question is: What does that mean? Or What does it look like to heap up empty phrases and words? John Stott has a helpful way of thinking about this. To make sure we understand this quote rightly, we must understand that John Stott was in the Anglican church—so he’s talking about his own denomination. He says, ”Are Anglicans guilty of battalogia [heaping up empty phrases]? Yes, no doubt some are, for the use of set forms does permit an approach to God with the lips while the heart is far from him. But then it is equally possible to use 'empty phrases' in extempore prayer and to lapse into religious jargon while the mind wanders. To sum up, what Jesus forbids his people is any kind of prayer with the mouth when the mind is not engaged.” (Stott, 144). I think he’s right in this, although I would also add the heart to that last line. Any prayer where the mind and the heart are not engaged is a prayer that is heaping up empty phrases. I’ve watched people recite written prayers in a way that is heaping up empty phrases AND I’ve watched people pray extemporaneously and heap up empty phrases—using words and phrases that they would never ever use in their normal daily lives.

Here’s why Jesus tells us not to pray like a non-believer by heaping up empty phrases. Jesus says, “…for they think that they will be heard for their many words.” (Matthew 6:7, ESV). Why are they heaping up empty phrases? Why are they droning on and on and on and on? Because they don’t actually trust God—they’re non-believers. They think that if they say the right words, and say the right phrases, their prayers will be like a magic spell that moves the hand of God. And because they don’t trust God, and because they think God is far away and distant, and because they think God doesn’t actually care about them, they think they need to manipulate God by their prayers. That’s why they heap up empty phrases. They don’t actually trust God. And that’s why Jesus says: When you pray, don’t pray like that. 

He also says, “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.” (Matthew 6:5, ESV). So, when you pray, don’t pray like a non-believer who doesn’t trust God, AND don’t pray like a hypocrite who also doesn’t trust God. As we’ve been going through the Gospel of John, we’ve been talking about the difference between a non-believer and a hypocrite, right? The non-believer doesn’t pretend to trust God, but the hypocrite pretends to trust God and wants everyone to think that they trust God. That’s why the hypocrite has to pray in front of everyone. They want everyone to think that they trust God—even though they don’t. Jesus says: Don’t pray like that. 

There are two things wrong with praying this way. Jesus says that they are praying “…that they may be seen by others.” (Matthew 6:5, ESV). That begs the question, WHO are they praying to? If they are praying so that others would see them pray, they are not praying to God, are they? They are praying to the people around them. That’s not actually prayer. That’s why the Catechism reminds us that if we want to please God with our prayers—and want Him to listen to our prayers—"First, we must pray from the heart to no other than the one true God.” (HC 117). If we try to pray to those around us, God is not pleased by that and will not listen to our prayers. That’s why Jesus says: Don’t pray like that. 

This is such a temptation for many people—especially pastors, right? Pastors are known for using prayer times for mini-sermonettes. That drives me insane! God is not pleased by those prayers and does not listen to those prayers because they are not prayed to HIM! It’s the same struggle with many people who gather with people to pray. I’ve watched in prayer groups over the years where people keep trying to one-up the other person in their prayers, trying to impress everyone else, trying to show everyone else how spiritual and prayerful they are. That’s not prayer because you’re no longer praying to God. You’re praying to the people around you. God doesn’t listen to those prayers and He is not pleased by them. He only listens when we pray to Him alone from the heart. Then He is pleased, no matter how fancy the words coming out of our mouths. 

Now, this doesn’t mean that we should never pray in public. We know that’s not the case because the Bible commands us to pray in public and gathered with God’s people. However, this does mean that when we pray in public, we will be tempted to pray in ways that do not honor or glorify God. We must be aware of those temptations, and fight them by the power of the Spirit so that we can pray in public in ways that please God. 

The other problem with a hypocrite’s prayer is that they think they are holy and righteous and act as if they deserve to be in the presence of God. That’s why Jesus says, “Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.” (Matthew 6:5, ESV). They have received their reward because they are seeking the praise of men and they are seeking the praise of men because they think they are praiseworthy. They think they are holy and righteous enough to enter the presence of God and they want everyone else to see and acknowledge that fact. Jesus says: Don’t pray like that. God does not listen to those prayers and He is not pleased by those prayers. Rather, as the Catechism reminds us, ”Second, we must fully recognize our need and misery, so that we humble ourselves in God’s majestic presence.” (HC 117). Don’t pray like a hypocrite, pray like a sinner saved by grace, who feels honored for the opportunity to enter into the very presence of a holy and righteous God. 

Jesus tells us that when we pray, we should not pray like a non-believer who doesn’t trust God, nor should we pray like a hypocrite who doesn’t trust God. Rather, we should pray like a child of God, who trusts and relies on his Father. That’s why he says, “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:6, ESV). Notice the language of Father in Jesus’ response—and notice this is how we’re told to begin our prayers. When we pray, we need to make sure we remember that we’re approaching a Father who loves us and cares for us. We’re approaching a Father who can see us in secret and will reward us in secret. He’s not some distant deity that is so far away we need to shout and scream and perform in our prayers. He’s not some unloving deity whom we need to manipulate with our words. He’s not someone who needs to be commanded to care for and provide for his children. The non-believer and the hypocrite see God as some power to be used for their own purposes and wants and desires. Jesus says: Don’t pray like that because that’s not who God is. He’s our Father. And that changes everything about the way we pray. 

Jesus also reminds us, “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matthew 6:8, ESV). That’s why we don’t have to manipulate Him or command him or shout and put on a show. He already knows what we need because he’s our Father. John Calvin puts it beautifully when he says, ”Whoever is convinced, that God not only cares for us, but knows all our wants, and anticipates our wishes and anxieties before we have stated them, will leave out vain repetitions, and will reckon it enough to prolong his prayers, as far as shall be necessary for exercising his faith; but will reckon it absurd and ridiculous to approach God with rhetorical embellishments, in the expectation that he will be moved by an abundance of words.” (Calvin, 314). When we pray, we are approaching a loving Father who knows what we need already. We can trust him. So, pray like you trust him. That’s Jesus’ point in this passage. 

We know that we can trust our Father because of Jesus Christ. That’s why the Catechism says, “Third, we must rest on this unshakable foundation: even though we do not deserve it, God will surely listen to our prayer because of Christ our Lord. That is what God promised us in his Word." (HC 117). It’s because of Jesus Christ that we can enter into the presence of God and speak to him. Apart from Jesus Christ, it is impossible to enter the presence of God and bring our prayers to Him because sin has separated us from God.  That’s why we don’t deserve to enter the presence of God, that’s why we must not pretend like we’re holy and righteous enough to enter God’s presence. Yet, because of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection and our faith in Him, we have been cleansed of our sin and can enter into the very presence of God, not because we’re worthy, but because of Jesus Christ. And because of Jesus Christ, we can have confidence that God will hear us and listen to our prayers AND treat us as his children. We can have confidence that God will be a Father to us because of our faith in Jesus Christ. 

Then, how do we know that we can trust our Father? Here’s why we know that we can trust him as a Father: “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32, ESV). Any Father who is willing to give the life of his Son for us is worthy to be trusted. If He is willing and able to provide for us in the biggest and most fundamental ways, we can trust that he will provide for us in every other way. That’s why Jesus tells us to pray with that in mind. Pray to God as a loving Father who sent his Son to die for you. Pray to God as a loving Father in whom you’ve placed all of your faith and trust. Pray to God as a loving Father who is worthy of all your trust because that is who He is!