Asking Better Questions

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'” (Genesis 1:27–28, ESV)

(This post is one in a series interacting with Leonard Vander Zee’s presentation at an All One Body gathering on October 8, 2020. Click here to see more posts in this series.) 

How Far Is Too Far?

I served as a Youth Director for eleven years. There was one question I was asked repeatedly: “How far is too far?” They wanted to know “how far” they could go before crossing the line in their relationships. Can they kiss? Can they touch? How much touching?

I always told them this was a bad question. They were playing a game of “chicken.” It’s like asking: How close can I get to the edge of a cliff before I fall off? How close can I hold coals to my chest before I am burned? (Proverbs 6:27).

The Only Purpose?

When discussing sex, Leonard VanderZee asks a bad question: “Of course [sex is] for reproduction, but is that the only purpose?” Here’s why this is a bad question: He’s intentionally disregarding a PRIMARY PURPOSE. It’s like saying: Of course a chainsaw is for cutting wood, but is that the ONLY purpose? Can’t I use it for something else? Sure, but I bet it won’t end well. 

The Creation Mandate

In Genesis 1:28 God gives humanity our marching orders. He says, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28, ESV). We call this the Creation Mandate. 

God commands humanity to do two things. He commands us to be fruitful/multiply and to subdue the earth. These two commands are not disconnected. How are we supposed to subdue the earth? Start by filling it with people. 

The Right Tool For the Job

The next question is: How do we fill the earth with people? By having sex. It’s pretty basic. God not only gave us a job to do, but gave us the tools to get the job done. 

Yet, this job can only be accomplished through male/female sex. Any other form of “sex” (if it can even be called that) will not produce “fruit” and will not fulfill the job God has given us. They are illegitimate uses of the tool God has given us. It’s like trying to use a chainsaw to make a smoothie. It’s not going to end well. 

Ignoring Genesis 1 for Genesis 2

It’s incredible that Leonard would completely ignore Genesis 1 when talking about the purpose of sex. Instead, he focuses his efforts on Genesis 2, thinking it’s an easier target.

He says, “The Committee tries to argue that [Genesis 2:18-25] is really about reproduction which, of course, demands male/female sex. But reproduction is not even mentioned here. It’s all about Adam’s aloneness and his need for a deep, intimate relationship.” Ummmm. No. There are multiple things wrong with that statement. 

Connecting Genesis 1 and 2

First, we cannot disconnect Genesis 1 from Genesis 2. There are many reasons for this, but let me give you one. In Matthew, Jesus is asked about divorce. He answers in an interesting way: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4–5, ESV). Did you notice what he did there? Jesus connected Genesis 1:27 with Genesis 2:24. What Jesus has joined together, let no man separate. 

This tells us that the command to “be fruitful and multiply” from Genesis 1 isn’t disconnected from the creation of Eve in Genesis 2. In order for humanity to be fruitful and multiply, Adam can’t be alone. It doesn’t work that way. 

Reproduction in Genesis 2

So, when Leonard says “reproduction is not even mentioned” in Genesis 2:24, he’s wrong. Sex is mentioned in Genesis 2:24 and sex is not disconnected from reproduction. I mean, what picture is painted by “holding fast to his wife” and “becoming one flesh”? The imagery is pretty clear. 

Throughout history, some have understood “holding fast” to represent a covenantal commitment of the husband to his wife. I don’t necessarily disagree. I’m just saying that the language paints an image in one’s mind. If I told you I was going to “hold fast to my wife” and we were going to become “one flesh,” it’s pretty clear what I’m talking about. And that act IS connected with reproduction. 

Ignoring the Basics

As I worked through this portion of Leonard’s presentation, I noticed he often ignored basic meanings/purposes. Earlier, I pointed out that he disregarded a basic purpose of sex. He also ignores the basic meaning of “one flesh.” He makes it seem like the phrase “one flesh” can ONLY refer to “deep intimacy.” However, there’s a meaning that is more basic. It’s referring to sex. 

Not ONLY is it referring to sex, but a particular form of sex. I don’t want to be crass. I want to be clear. God designed men and women to “fit” together—physically. And when they “fit” together in this physical way, they become united—“one flesh.” Two men cannot fit together this way, and neither can two women. Only a man and a woman can become “one flesh.” 

Of course, “one flesh” means more than this, but it cannot mean less.

Asking Better Questions

I would encourage everyone to ask a better question. Stop asking, “How far is too far?” or “Is this the ONLY way we can use this gift?” These questions take your eyes off of Christ to focus on the boundaries. THAT never ends well. It always leads away from Christ and into sin.  

Rather, keep your eyes on Christ and ask, “How can I use this gift in the way God has designed—in a way that honors Christ?” Stop asking where the “boundaries” are. Keep your eyes on Christ and head straight in that direction—neither swerving to the left or right. 

This is how we “lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1–2, ESV).